why selling a bunk bed to buy a new set of bunk beds made sense...kinda

A few months ago I sold the bunk bed my younger 2 kids had in the room they share. By that time only my boy was using his bunk because the girl had long since moved out of hers in favor of her own bed, saying that his constant jostling kept her up at night.

I had been holding onto the bunk bed thinking if we had a sleepover the extra bunk would come in handy. The irony is that because we live in an apartment that big black framed bunk bed made the room feel so crowded and blocked so much light,that it felt like there wasn't enough room for anyone extra. So: no sleepovers.

(Why was I keeping the bunk bed again?!)

That said my boy still needed a bed so naturally I went to Walmart looking for a simple bed and after pricing around found myself purchasing another set of bunk beds. Yes, bunk beds. These ones are better than the old ones though because they come apart. That is to say that they can be used as two separate beds where the other bunk beds were one huge solid metal frame.

In classic fashion, it took me probably a week to get around to putting the boy's bed completely together. All leftover parts were carefully stashed and stored in the kids closet for the next day when I would take apart the girl's bed and put together the new one for her. The room would look so much better with matching shaker style beds, I reasoned. The next day, I hit a road block, when I realized that my boyfriend at the time had put her bed together. He had made certain it was sturdy for her and to do that, he had used tools...

I have a drill with 2 bits and a hammer and while these are in fact considered to be tools they are not the right tools for the job of dismantling the old bed. In the meantime the boyfriend became an ex and I had to replace other things in the house as a result, plus life got busy and between kids and school and surviving I kind of forgot why I never tackled the bed issue, until the other day.

This being Christmas vacation I now had the time to tackle the bed issue. I had stripped and removed the mattress and that's where my renewed vigor for home improvement stopped. Christmas had past, I never got any tools.

My mission today is to purchase a ratchet set, take one bed apart and put the new bed together...I'll let you know how it goes.

Old Friends

The tree and the garland are twinkling with white lights. The dishes are basically done (there aren't many left anyway). There are a couple of presents to wrap. The kids and the cat are chilling out in their respective spots.

I am waiting for an old friend to arrive who is home for the holidays, thinking how so much has changed in the past year and a half since I last saw her. I doubt we will get the chance to catch up on even half of it but it will be nice to see her and her little ones.

How many close friends do we really have in life? The kind of friends that pass in and out of your life almost imperceptibly, that know you and your habits and quirks and tho they must judge, they really don't allow changes to affect the long haul of the relationship. These friends can tease you about stuff you had forgotten about and remind you of where you once were. Friends that are like adopted family fully accepting and acceptable are a rare and special breed.

Tis the season to appreciate these nomadic members of our extended family, to catch up, and check in then send them packen' back to their regular lives as we get back to our own, refreshed with renewed understanding and acceptance of ourselves.

I can't wait to see my friend and play with her kids, dish a little bit about others we once knew, and give her a big hug but if I don't go have a shower and brush my teeth she may not have a full appreciation of the visit...but she'll have a little something extra to tease me about.

I am off to the tubby1

Merry Christmas!

Last night, despite:

1. the free beer from my favoritest boss ever,
2. the stranger-I-kinda-know who stopped to chat in the middle of the night when I was just about to cry,
   
3. the brief moment I got with someone for whom I care deeply,
   
4. the multitude of Facebook exclamations to have a "Merry Christmas,"
   
5. the card and heart-felt hug I got from a colleague,
6. the snow ball formed with old affection intended for me that missed,
   
7. the unseasonably awesome weather last night,
8. my beautiful snowflake tree,
   
9. excitement evident on the kids faces that overflowed in every stammered word,
   
10. the stranger who carried my Budweiser all of the way to the cash through the whole line up of 20 people that snaked through the liquor store all the way into the walk-in cooler,
    
11. the hot landlord that left a party to unlock my apartment door because I had locked myself out,
12. the knowledge of all the great and beautiful things my kids and I would be receiving on the following day, and
    
13. my car shovelled out by a kindly neighbour. The very same neighbour who also makes sure my garbage-can makes it to the curb whenever I forget it, all the year through.
    

My heart was lonely and sorry for itself and half blind to all of these beautiful gestures and experiences.

Once my kids arrived rosy cheeked, dressed in new pj's from my ex husbands mother (zzz's a tradition she started with her own 3 kids 35 years ago of giving the kids new pj's on Christmas Eve so that they were sure to be wearing something decent for pictures the next day) and the pile of gifts were unwrapped and enjoyed, I started baking. The kindly shovelling neighbour is a single man who lives alone who probably won't get anything home baked this Christmas so I thought I would fill a festive tin for him and address a card to him as well, thanking him for his efforts.

That's when I started to feel It: The magic of the season.

Around the time that I set the final mixing bowl in the draintray, shiny and clean, it occurred to me that I would write about the bits of magic I've witnessed just in the past day in this blog. Which lead me to understand that the blogs ahead of me and the blogs already posted are like roadsigns on my quest for self improvement. Haha hopefully most of them leed me in the right direction...

It has been a Merry Christmas!...and we haven't even had dinner at the farm yet!

You Gotta Make Magic Happen

If you can only get into the Christmas Spirit when there is a pile of snow everywhere you should be feeling pretty merry right about now, at least if you live in the Maritime corner of Canada.

Christmas is for giving and sharing and loving and let's face it, this year I am alone. The kids are with their dad and there is no special someone.

Since winter sports are what make winter enjoyable and are only possible with a lot of snow, I can understand where these snow lovers are coming from. Besides that there are few things as beautiful as quietly-falling, glittering snow. If that sight is not a bit of magic, I don't know what is...but for me (and I imagine for many) really, truly, absolutely getting into the Christmas spirit is a combination of many things. It is like a chemical formula or witches brew: if the right ingredient is missing, it just isn't the same.

Most of what is missing in my life is of my own creation, the bottom completely fell out of my motivation at some point in November and it has been a real effort to get it back.

I have taken time to include several of my preferred ingredients for the recipe of Holiday Spirit but there are several missing as well...The tree is up. Presents are wrapped. Everyone is bought for. I feel particularly good about some of them. Bills are paid. Snow is blanketed upon Freddy Beach.

Then there's the missing list: haven't sent cards again yet. My kids won't be with me that special morning. Santa won't be coming to my house. I still have to finish truffles, shovel myself out, get last ingredients for baking, pick up the gift tags, and visit Nanny (probably how I should have planned my evening anyway but didn't). I am sad to report that I didn't do as well in the last 2 weeks of school as I had been all along and therefore disappointed a few people (especially myself).

Trying hard to get that sparkle, that magic back. My life has shown me that wishes do come true but we don't get full appreciation of them without a little effort on our part. Sometimes a lot of effort.

These last days of 2009, I am looking backwards and forwards, inwards and out, formulating my resolutions for a better year to come.

2010, by next week, I will be ready for you!

In Pursuit of Happiness

While the snow fell, and Christmas parties rocked last night I curled up with my girls on the couch to watch a movie. Julie and Julia was not the best movie I have ever seen; however, the moral of the story hit close to home for me.

Julie, a woman struggling with an undesired career change and a move to Queens, New York realizes with the help of her husband that the one thing she truly enjoys doing is eating. Julia Child becomes her unknowing mentor in Julie's new goal to cover Child's entire recipe book of over 500 recipes over the course of a year and to blog about them all. Perhaps this is a wild and unrealistic goal but Julie's pursuit of her passion has reminded me that in order to achieve a goal, it is important to go after it.

I am going to write every day here on this spot for a year...your encouragement in this pursuit will be appreciated.

As I wrote this a great calamity occurred here in the apartment, Jesus and the entire manger took a header off the table which my boy knocked over in his great concentration with his game. The crash broke my concentration and his but it's all cleaned up now and this post is done so it is time to get back to the business of the day: present wrapping, baking, and of course the ever present: DISH WASHING.

Until tomorrow,
Jenn